The pain is too heavy that I can no longer breathe. My eyes are too blurry that I can no longer see bliss. The scar is too vivid that it reminds me of what my kind of love is like. I was livid with the thought of you leaving, But accepting and forgiving was indeed a much greater feeling. I won’t hold grudges for I know it’ll only take me nowhere, Yet with prayers, this misery will soon be over. And wherever I may turn to I can finally say I’m totally over you.
I’m proud of you for surviving. I’m proud of you for holding on. I’m proud of you for still breathing even when you’re already dead inside. I’m proud of you for believing even when you couldn’t see yourself beyond that moment. I’m proud of you for being here. I’m proud of you for still choosing to believe that God cares even your situation said otherwise. I’m proud of you for not giving up. Don’t you ever give up.
Today, I will cry but I will not die for I still dream of soaring high.
I will weep but it doesn’t mean I give up For sufferings are not reasons enough.
I will pause and take a rest Find a courage to win this test.
See the sun shines and birds singing of hope and life that’s truly amazing.
I guess, I was too much weaker to fight hard and be braver.
Not today, not anymore as I realized that in life there’s so much more to savor.
P.S. I have been gone for a while due to some personal and health reason. I wrote this one simple piece after what I’ve been going through. I learned a lot from it. I’m glad to be here and writing again. ❤️
Living in a dingy world where paths are all tangled, I tried to take a hold of a life that’s been long troubled.
A chaotic world of a thousand dreams seeking its way, waiting to be seen. I took a breath and tried to strive with a heart that hopes to see the light.
For many years, I’ve been in this place Still, why can’t I find solace? I am a captive in this dungeon where only I live alone.
It is an endeavor to find the way so finally I could be free. I am lost in my own world; it’s a story that is yet untold.
Note: These past days, my anxiety and depression was through the roof and because of that, I wasn’t able to focus on writing. I had breakdowns and I was really exhausted — physically, mentally and emotionally. I was drained. And yes, I was suicidal. I am. I always feel like there’s no way for me to get out and find light at the end of this tunnel I am in right now but despite, I choose to continue living. One day, I will have my own story to tell.A story of losing and winning.