I am impregnable. I am brave. These are the things I used to believe. I can face the world alone Fight the battle on my own. This was just pure imagination. I stand strong that nobody can ever break me down. I don’t need a hand from people around. Who would have thought on my knee, I’d fall down? Inside my head were thoughts unspoken; Inside my heart were whispered fears. Afraid to be heard Scared to be judged by spectators who all the time prejudge. Silent thoughts screaming to be voiced out I lay in bed tears running down Gently, I covered my mouth. Petrified that they might hear the whispered fear I always bear.
Living in a dingy world where paths are all tangled, I tried to take a hold of a life that’s been long troubled.
A chaotic world of a thousand dreams seeking its way, waiting to be seen. I took a breath and tried to strive with a heart that hopes to see the light.
For many years, I’ve been in this place Still, why can’t I find solace? I am a captive in this dungeon where only I live alone.
It is an endeavor to find the way so finally I could be free. I am lost in my own world; it’s a story that is yet untold.
Note: These past days, my anxiety and depression was through the roof and because of that, I wasn’t able to focus on writing. I had breakdowns and I was really exhausted — physically, mentally and emotionally. I was drained. And yes, I was suicidal. I am. I always feel like there’s no way for me to get out and find light at the end of this tunnel I am in right now but despite, I choose to continue living. One day, I will have my own story to tell.A story of losing and winning.